I'm back again

Thursday April 27, 2006

Feeling a bit discouraged for some reason. It’s an absolutely beautiful day. Sarah and Mary went to the zoo today- I’ll bet they had a good time.

I talked to LE this morning and left there with a few thoughts:
- He doesn’t think the training role will be phased out or eliminated
- He can’t guarantee that I will have a mgmnt. position just because I say I’m interested. This comes as a result of my latest internet flare-up. My sense is that RW has some real concerns about my leadership skills.
- We have a lot left to accomplish in our division as related to consultative selling skills.
- He feels as though his mission field is big co. - he feels as though he does ministry at big co. every day.
- I don’t have clear sense of whether or not he believes in me or my abilities- I need to hear that from him.

I have four PP presentations to present within the next thirty days as well as prepare a sermon for the last weekend in May. The PP’s are generally done, just needs some minor tweaking. I am concerned that “It’s All About You” being ninety minutes in length. I practiced it yesterday and it was only thirty minutes! Yikes! I’ll talk to KW tomorrow – will I have time? He can help me tie it together and bring some flow to the whole thing.

I am looking forward to having the day off next Tuesday- my 46th birthday. I don’t really know what I’m going to do other than take it easy. I’d like to go to Camp or somewhere like it to meditate, pray and just be still. Can I do that?

I called mega church yesterday afternoon and left a message for the director of HR. This was my second call and I haven’t heard from her as of yet. Have they filled the position? Who got it? Why didn’t I get a shot at it? I haven’t given up yet! I believe they’ll send a letter notifying me that the position has been filled soon, perhaps.

I talked to PD last night and told him about my vocational dilemma. I informed him that if I got back into management, that would limit my involvement as the CLP. He said, “You know I can’t do all of this myself!” I know- I’m not asking you to. I realize that you worked 2000 and some hours last year and I don’t really care!

Most blessed wife is her usual kind and loving self. She has got to be getting tired of listening to me moan and groan about my job. If I were her I’d tell me to shut up and do something! Just be happy, man!

I don’t want to be in sales management! I did that and I didn’t like it! I am a presentation guy- I like being in front of people. I love the experience of preaching and I think I’m good at it. I felt such a sense of fulfillment after last Sunday’s sermon- is that my pride?